Image courtesy of veooz.com.

Before I get into this post, I just hope and pray that this will be the last time I have to blog about a young Black male being killed by law enforcement, nothing being done about it, and subsequently, my feelings about the judicial system once again failing my people. But as history has shown, that hope will probably go into thin air, especially considering two young Black males were killed within the last week by police officers. We will see what happens in those cases, but based off the events of yesterday, and just history in general, I have very little faith in justice being served in favor of young Black males when it comes to law enforcement. But all I can do is hope and pray. Now, let’s get to the topic at hand.

Three and a half months ago, I blogged about the Michael Brown situation and the life of a young Black male in America. While the blog was sparked by the Michael Brown situation, it was all inclusive. It covered police on citizen crime, as well as Black on Black crime, because I felt that there was a bigger picture that needed to be addressed. And for the most part, I think I accomplished what I set out to.

Now when I wrote that blog, everything was still relatively fresh, and all the details were still murky; all that was known was that a young Black male was shot and killed by a police officer in Ferguson, Missouri. Over the next three months, details would be released, developments would occur, and that would all lead to another memorable date in time in the history of America.

Fast forward to Monday, November 24th, 2014.

For me, this day is synonymous with Saturday, July 13th, 2013. For those who might not remember, that is the day that George Zimmerman was found not guilty in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin. I remember that day vividly, as if it was yesterday.

I was sitting in my basement watching CNN and waiting for the announcement to come down. I can’t remember the exact time that the verdict was read (I imagine it was around 10 P.M. or so), but I distinctly remember the words “not guilty” being read continuous times.

You ever feel like you were emotionally and spiritually punched in the gut? Imagine that, but several times, with each “not guilty” being read. That’s the exact feeling that I had.

In my opinion, when that verdict was read, that was my generation’s version of the Rodney King trial and verdict. And for me personally, that was my “America really doesn’t give a fuck about your life” moment. I was 20 years old.

So thanks to the Trayvon Martin case, when November 24th, 2014 came around, I was already prepared. Hell, I was prepared when I heard that the state of Missouri was being placed under a state of emergency and they were bringing in the National Guard. It was pretty obvious what was about to happen. But still, I tuned in to CNN on that Monday night to hear the official announcement.

I watched the press conference, shortly after 9 P.M., with my father, and we both were anything but shocked. A 53-year old Black male from Greenwood, South Carolina, and his 22-year old son from Washington D.C.; not shocked that a White cop got away with killing a young Black male, or a Black male in general. History already prepared us for that ruling; my father more so than me, but I am quickly catching up in the lessons.

So even though I knew what was coming, what was my reaction? Well, let me take you into the head of a 22-year old Black male who was once again slapped in the face by a country that claims one thing and does a complete 180.

Here were some of my initial thoughts when I heard that officer Darren Wilson wasn’t being indicted on any charges in the shooting death of Michael Brown:

“What the fuck is new?”

“America doesn’t give a shit about me or any person of color.”

“This is bullshit.”

“AmeriKKKa…”

“RIP Michael Brown. I pray for your mother, father and the city of Ferguson, because they need it more than just about anyone right now.”

After about two hours of watching CNN and keeping a close eye to Twitter, enough was enough. It was too much to handle. So I decided to let it go for the night. Needless to say, I had a hard time sleeping Monday night. My heart was heavy and my mind was conflicted.

I started this blog post today, Tuesday, November 25th. I hadn’t planned on writing about the topic, but because of all of the raw emotions that I was feeling, I decided to vent responsibly through my passion in life: writing.

I started my day off by watching ESPN First Take, and I saw Stephen A. Smith, Skip Bayless and Cari Champion talk about LeBron James’ tweet reacting to the verdict last night. After seeing LeBron’s tweets, I was curious about what other celebrities said in response, so I did a Google search to see who else spoke on the situation. I also listened to a song by new artist Tink called “Tell the Children.”

While doing all of these things, I was suddenly hit hard to the point where I got teary eyed, damn near on the verge of crying, because I realized just how many people care, and how deeply affected others from around the world were by this decision. Yeah, social media is a lot of BS and ignorance, but you can easily find people from all races and backgrounds speaking about the atrocities of this situation and others like it. A lot of people DO care.

24 hours removed from the announcement, I still have plenty of frustration and anger towards the overall situation, but I have now gained some perspective through taking some time to reflect. And that is what this blog is about: what I have gained through my reflection.

So here are my thoughts about everything regarding the situation at hand.

• First off, as I previously stated, none of this surprises me anymore. Just pick up a history book or Google the history of this country. This isn’t anything new. Yes, we wish and hope for better because it is 2014 and theoretically, we should be past this shit, but that’s not the reality, and that’s what situations like this serve as a reminder to.

Next thing I want to cover is the race topic.

• While this issue is both a race issue and a police/power issue, let’s not make the mistake of placing blame on all White people, or police officers for that matter. That is the heart of the problem.

Black men get put into a box and generalized as thugs and miscreants, which in the eyes of the judicial system, gives justification for shooting us down like fucking animals. We don’t want it done to us, so don’t do it to others. Not all White people are bad. Not all police officers are corrupt. Not all Black men are thugs. The word “some” exists for a reason, so learn to use it.

Next, the rioting, and the general outrage in Ferguson:

• I am not for destroying businesses in the community, especially Black owned businesses, because let’s be completely honest…a lot of those young Black kids looting and destroying property and buildings, they’re going to need jobs, and those businesses, especially the Black owned ones, will be the ones hiring. So destroying a possible future source of income makes ZERO sense and it only adds to the stereotypes that are running rampant in society today.

Having said that, I cannot and WILL NOT judge anyone down in Ferguson for reacting emotionally. Destroying police cars? The police are aiming guns at unarmed citizens’ heads who are marching peacefully in hopes of justice. As far as I am concerned, fuck those police cars because the police aren’t protecting them anyway.

In a perfect world, everyone would respond in a peaceful manner and come together in harmony when confronted with injustice. In that same perfect world though, I’m pretty sure that Michael Brown wouldn’t have been shot and killed in the first place.

So because I am not in that city, and I don’t know EXACTLY what they are feeling, I can’t sit here and condemn them for responding the way that they are. There’s no room for judgment on my part.

To finish up, I just want to speak on the whole idea of being fearful, because I have seen a lot of Black women on Twitter talking about the fear of having Black boys for children. I understand the fear. I am a Black man. I get it.

But as crazy as this sounds, I am not fearful. I am a double edged sword, and damn proud of it.

I am a Black male. That is what America fears. But I am also a very educated Black male armed with a college degree and a powerful mind, and America fears that even more. I am not a thug. I am not a criminal. I am not a statistic. I am great. In my Black skin, I am great. And that is what makes me sad about the young brothers who are being killed; they are taken away before they can realize their full potential. And while that is disheartening, it only serves as more motivation. Let me tell you why I am not fearful.

I am growing in my faith (which might not be obvious through some of the expletives used throughout this piece but this is just a sensitive subject so bear with me), and in growing in my faith, I have become comfortable in saying that I am secure in my belief that I am in God’s hands. I am not in the hands of anyone else but my maker. I fear no man or circumstances. And at the end of the day, we all have to answer to someone.

I go to sleep every night knowing that I am doing my best to live in a manner that is pleasing to my God. I am by no means perfect. But I am striving to improve every day. That’s my goal each day I am granted with the breath of life and the opportunity to live. As long as I have the gift of life, you can be damned sure that I am going to make the most out of this precious gift. Therefore, I have nothing to fear.

As I stated at the beginning, I hope this is the last time I have to blog about a situation like this, but sadly, I wouldn’t be shocked if I was doing the same thing this time next year, or some time sooner.

RIP Michael Brown. RIP Akai Gurley. RIP Tamir Rice. You did not die in vain, and we will never forget you.